I'm sad

I know it has been a while. I've been up and down, lather rinse repeat. I finally signed up for e-tools and that has made tracking my points easier.

I'm worried about my son.

I'm tired of buying so many snacks. I buy junk food and say it is for the kids, but then, I look at my kids,and really folks... they don't need it either. I've gone to shopping once a week. If they eat all the snacks in the beginning of the week - too bad.

I had my oldest write down everything he ate. Only, I ended up writing most of it. The second week I said he can have 5 snacks, we picked them out and put them into a basket. Except that he ate those and then more. Yesterday, I bought a 12 pack of peanut butter crackers for him. That is what he said he wanted as a snack this week. I specifically asked if they wanted granola bars. I bought almonds for me.

I went to get a granola bar for me this evening. All but one package of almonds is gone * , all but one granola bar is gone and 6 of the 12 packages of crackers are gone. He did not ask for any of this food. This means he is sneaking the food. I took the remaining snacks that I got for me and put them up in the cupboard.

*turns out the youngest ate all of the almonds

This brings back bad memories. I was fat as a child. My parents hid food from me too. I found it. I don't want this for my son. I have at least been encouraging him to exercise.  Both boys get 30 minutes of computer time. If they want any more they have to do 20 minutes of exercise.

I wish I knew what to do. We've talked about it before. I've stressed to him that I just want him to be healthy. He is not at a healthy weight. His BMI is 34.2 where mine is 34.9. My folks ,I say both of them, but I'm pretty sure it was mostly my mom, tried to put me on weight watchers at age 10, tried to bribe me with rewards for losing weight etc. None of those worked for me. I wrote him a letter tonight and told him it made me sad that he ate that food.  That I want him to be healthier than I am, that I want him to not get the bad habits I have. I want so much more for him. He is such a bright young man. I want him to be happy. I want him to be able to have girlfriends in high school and not be the fat kid. Maybe I am just projecting my  history on him.

three tenths

That's all I gained this week. 0.3, so 16 oz to a lb makes that 4.8 ounces. Honestly, the way I went through Easter candy this week, I am surprised it isn't more!

Need to really get on the ball this week and track everything. This month's focus is planning at WW. Plan what your next meal/snack will be. Easier said than done. I don't always know what I want for dinner when I am eating breakfast.

breaking even

Last week I gained 2.8 lbs. I was kind of expecting that. This week, I lost 2.8 lbs.  I broke even.

stress eating

I am feeling completely overwhelmed lately. My 7th of 10 classes started this week, and I am already one day late posting my discussion. I haven't even finished reading the materials  yet. I am trying to correct the multiplication pretests i had fourth grade students complete so I can pick subjects for my research project.  I love my new job as a tutor (although I'm more like a teachers assistant!), but sometimes I miss my mornings to myself. I also have a family member (brother in law) who is very ill. I'm sure I am not as stressed out as my sister and her family are though, but I'm still stressed.

Do you know how I know that?

In the past hour, between leaving Walmart & picking up kids & getting home, I have consumed 4 donuts and a small 3.5 oz bag of chocolate. In addition, I have consumed two containers of coolwhip frosting that I bought for my 10 yr olds bday party on Friday night. Did I mention it is a sleep over, and that it is tomorrow and that my house is not clean and I haven't baked his cake yet?   It has been a really long time since I binged on frosting. On the good side, it is lower in points than regular frosting.

Something has to give.

I dropped my class. I hope that the stress of being behind already during week one will make things easier.

couch to 5 k

I did a lot of walking on vacation, so I decided to get into a routine. Based on my husbands pedometer, I know that at least one day we walked over 3 miles. I looked up the couch to 5k program, but it involves running.  I do not run. Not only is it hard on my knees, I have to many rolls of extra "stuff" that jiggle when I run. A few weeks ago I jump roped at school with the  kids. Too many parts of my flopping around! I found a program through sparkpeople that is walking.

I'm starting tomorrow.

Vacation eating has ended

I weighed in this morning to find I had gained 2.9 lbs on my vacation. All in all, I can live with that.  The cruise eating was very easy. The formal dining room is served to you in perfect portions. I at dessert every night. When eating at the buffets, I made sure to have a fruit or a vegetable with my meal. The thing is the walking. you have to walk everywhere  I took stairs more often than I normally would because the elevators were a bit slow. There was also no pantry to browse through. I truly only ate when I was hungry.

Then came Disney World. The food is not only over priced, but over portioned! There were several times we ate at a buffet that I had more than I should eat, including extra dessert. We did a lot more walking there though.What most likely did me in were those times when I was alone that I got a sweet treat. I also bought a lot of chocolate in different countries in Epcot.

I had my last fattening dessert out tonight at Red Robin for my son's birthday. My older son and I shared a brownie sundae. Tomorrow points start again. I also need to keep up the exercise. I walked quite a bit during my vacation and I don't want to lose that momentum. I didn't walk today, however I did shovel what felt like 200 lbs of slushy, wet, heavy snow.

Tomorrow I am going to look into a couch to 5K type of program. I have no interest in running, too many parts of my body jiggle when I run, but I would like to increase my activity and stamina.